Afraid, yet filled with joy

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.  Matthew 28:8 (New International Version, ©2010)

What is it to be afraid and yet still able to run filled with joy?  I have felt God pulling me in a direction which frightens me.  He wants to me to step out more and stand in front of others to sing and entertain.  Something I never considered enjoyable.  Singing alone at home, or with the church choir, or in front of a voice coach is easy enough.  But the thought of me alone, singing in front of a crowd, it makes my throat tighten and my voice shaky.  How do I learn to run with joy, or sing well with enthusiasm, when I have stage fright?

Perhaps the answer lies in who or what I am thinking about while singing.  The crowd?  All the mistakes and criticism of the past?  Others who perform better than I?

The women at the tomb where filled with joy because their savior was alive.  What was dead to them was now alive.  The angel told them “He is risen”, and they knew a great miracle happened.  They knew the glory of God waited, ahead of them, in Galilee.

Perhaps to alleviate my fear, I need to look ahead at the glory to come.  Not at the crowd or the past but at the future God has prepared for me.  Whatever that future may be, always remember it is God’s pleasure to give me good things. If only I am willing to receive.

 

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32 (New International Version, ©2010)

Dear Lord, let me feel your pleasure on stage.  Let remember the dearly loved child you created me to be.  Let me keep my mind and heart on you so that I may run filled with joy.