Relax. It is in God's hands.

I lie down and sleep:

I wake again, because

the Lord sustains me

Psalm 3:5

What does it mean to relax in God’s hands?  Is it passive?  Should I hum a merry tune and baptize myself Pollyanna?   When things around me are falling apart, how do I trust God in the midst of the wreckage?  Is concern the same as worry?   Through experience I have learned to walk from seeing the wreckage towards trusting the Almighty. These are my four steps to move me back to God.

The first step involves remembering what God did in the past. Recall times when things fell apart and God plunged a finger in the midst of the whirlwind.   Such as the day my parked car was flooded up to the door handles.  Two men drove by while I stood outside my apartment, staring at my dripping car, waiting for the creek to return to its boundaries.  The men pushed my car out of the water, onto drier land, where it dripped for rest of the night.  The next morning, the car dried enough to crank. I drove it towards an auto repair shop only to have it die in the middle of a four-lane highway.   When I exited my car to walk, the driver behind me got out of his police car and offered to help me get to the auto repair shop.   I owned a flooded car and God provided help through three strangers passing by at the perfect moment.

The second step involves praying to remain on God’s path even when it looks rocky and difficult.  Twenty-five years ago, a friend wanted a better job as a stock broker rather than a bank auditor.  I prayed for her to have this dream job.  When she accepted a new job as a stock broker trainee, I knew God answered prayers.  Two weeks later, when she was laid off along with twenty other people, I wonder if God played practical jokes.  My friend struggled for several months with fears of unemployment and the disappointment of seeking a career in a precarious field.  When her finances became unmanageable, she begrudgingly took a job in bank acquisitions.  She knew little about acquisitions and considered it a short term transition while she waited for something better.  Her talents blossomed in this new field and multiple banks offered her stable employment.  A career in acquisitions, which she never wanted, became the perfect fit for her life.  Only God could have known this, and only a rocky road would have led her to turn down this unexpected path.    

The third step requires accepting that God will break us so that he can mend us.  This is the most difficult step.  When we have bad habits that we and those around us find acceptable, sometimes God sees a boulder in our path that He wants removed.  For me the boulder is choosing the good path rather than the godly path.  I spent five years living in rural Africa, teaching Christian life skills to combat the AIDS pandemic which kills so many young Africans.  I became determined to stay and work as an African missionary. For several years God opened doors for me to teach, meet people, and impact the community.  Then the opportunities and money began to disappear.  I was left with no choice but to sell my car and use the money to buy a plane ticket home. 

I returned to my old pre-missionary job and resumed an American lifestyle.  My heart was broken and I felt devastated that God would not allow me to continue such important work.  In the past few years, while crawling out of my depression and finishing a degree in English, I realized the impact of writing and speaking. God has allowed me to make multiple mission trips to Africa, Jamaica, and Gulf Coast.  I have met many fellow workers, and widened my understanding of mission work.  God tore apart my good dream of being a missionary and gave me a deeper understanding of obedience and of reaching people in multiple ways. 

The fourth step is to keep a journal of God’s work in my life and read it often.  This is the easiest step and the one most likely forgotten.  Never allow myself to forget how many times God’s fingers have been in the midst of the whirlwind.  Never forget the rocky road may be the best road.  Never forget the good path is not enough for the godly.

When times are good, be happy;
   but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one
   as well as the other.
Ecclesiastes 7:14 

Dear Lord, Never let me forget the whirlwind, the rocky road, and the broken heart are in your hands.  Let me always remember your rod and staff are necessary tools of the shepherd. Let me rest in the midst of my struggles.  You are my God and I am ever before your presence.

Friendship

God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
   and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
   the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
   God will help her at break of day.

Psalm 46: 1-5

I love my friend.  He walks down the hall with a bounce in his step and I wonder what makes him happy.  He would tell me it is the music, or the compliments, maybe a job well done.  But I wonder what is it deep down inside which makes him smile when he is alone.  Observation tells me it is definitely his children, probably his friends, most likely his job. 

We both know how to go to Jesus and come back happy.  We practice Christian discipleship in prayer, bible study, sing praises, and fellowship with other Christians.  We have both been through hardships of loss and confusion when God does not do or give as we expect.  We cry in the late hours and struggle to put the pain into God’s context, knowing only God can explain the plan.  We wake up the next morning, washed clean by the Spirit and prepared to step out onto the path again, not quite sure what the day will bring.

Yet, he still walks with a bounce as if the earth got a little lighter and he reached his hand up into heaven for a moment.  He has found the ever flowing river of God, the water that carries us like giggling children further along.  God is his refuge and strength.  God’s river fills him with joy and gladness.

It makes me smile to watch him walk away knowing he is smiling from his heart, knowing that God cannot fail.  If we rely on God instead of ourselves the joy will always return no matter what obstacles may come.  Is that not what true friendship embodies?  The patience to walk with others down God’s road and the delight in watching their joy as God wipes away every tear from their eyes.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes.

There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain,

for the old order of things has passed away.

Revelation 21:4

Dear Lord, let me always remember you ability to protect us and to wipe away all the tears.  May your protection, joy, and peace forever abide in my life and the lives of my friends.

A song in my heart

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
   my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
   and with my song I praise him. 

Psalm 28:7

Some of the most reassuring verses in the Bible come from the Psalms.  They recite praise, lament injustice, comfort the sick, rejoice in blessing, and celebrate God’s creation.  From birth through joy and hardship, even unto death the Psalms echo our experiences.  Can there be any human experience which is not present in at least one Psalm?    

Each experience, each chapter was written to sing with musical instruments.  Many chapters begin with musical explanations of “A Maskil”, “to the tune of Lillies”, or “to the tune A Dove on Distant Oaks.”  Some were written for a specific person to sing such as the Director of Music, Sons of Korah, David, or Asaph.  Others were written for the congregation as wedding songs, prayer petitions, or songs of ascent.  

It is as though God and the Jewish people knew life could only be fully explained when retold through song.  Music and poetry capture the depth of emotions when simple words will not satisfy.  The blending of music, poetry, and voice into a chord of three strands wraps itself around the human heart, tugging against memories, bringing the joy and pain of life into full view.

What a privilege to stand before the congregation offering the chord of three strands to touch their hearts.  It is a blessing to participate in a choir with so many gifted people, and in a church where music is a vital part of worship.  How could I not sing with joy in my heart?   

Dear Lord, you are my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in you, and you help me. My heart leaps for joy, and with songs I praise you.  

Forgiving the Unrepentant

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”    Luke 17:3-5

How do I forgive someone who refuses to repent?  When a coworker constantly gives me dirty-looks?  A relative’s never ending racist jokes.  A sibling’s broken promises.  A drunk, a gossip, a liar.

Jesus tells us to forgive seventy seven times, but he also tells us to treat the unrepentant as a pagan or tax collector, Matthew 18: 15-17.  What am I to do with the unrepentant that might not be a Christian, or belongs to another church and refuses discussion?  Do I bite my tongue and keep smiling?  Do I practice forgiveness with my mouth and hope my heart will follow?  Should I shake the dust from my feet and walk away?  Perhaps just pray for a miracle, either in me or them?

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34.  These people are not nailing me to the cross and casting lots for my clothes.  Yet, I am hesitant to forgive the unrepentant who seem to know what they are doing and don’t care that it offends others.  Perhaps they have no ability to change and choose to hide their helplessness in bravado. 
 

I have decided to set forgiveness aside for the unrepentant.  Instead, I will pray for their happiness.  Pray that they may find Jesus and understand his love for them.  Pray their burdens will be lighter.  Pray they will enter a Bible study designed especially for them.  Pray that I may be one of the people to offer them a cool glass of water when they are parched.  An offer made without obligation or expectation.

Dear Lord, you are my joy and my delight.  May I offer happiness and joy to others as you offer it to me.  Your love is as underserved as a small child, throwing a temper tantrum, being scooped up and hugged without reservation.

Afraid, yet filled with joy

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.  Matthew 28:8 (New International Version, ©2010)

What is it to be afraid and yet still able to run filled with joy?  I have felt God pulling me in a direction which frightens me.  He wants to me to step out more and stand in front of others to sing and entertain.  Something I never considered enjoyable.  Singing alone at home, or with the church choir, or in front of a voice coach is easy enough.  But the thought of me alone, singing in front of a crowd, it makes my throat tighten and my voice shaky.  How do I learn to run with joy, or sing well with enthusiasm, when I have stage fright?

Perhaps the answer lies in who or what I am thinking about while singing.  The crowd?  All the mistakes and criticism of the past?  Others who perform better than I?

The women at the tomb where filled with joy because their savior was alive.  What was dead to them was now alive.  The angel told them “He is risen”, and they knew a great miracle happened.  They knew the glory of God waited, ahead of them, in Galilee.

Perhaps to alleviate my fear, I need to look ahead at the glory to come.  Not at the crowd or the past but at the future God has prepared for me.  Whatever that future may be, always remember it is God’s pleasure to give me good things. If only I am willing to receive.

 

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32 (New International Version, ©2010)

Dear Lord, let me feel your pleasure on stage.  Let remember the dearly loved child you created me to be.  Let me keep my mind and heart on you so that I may run filled with joy.

The Great Light

Once upon a time there was a woman who had grown weary from her labor.  She went into her room, alone, closed the door, and lay down on the bed.  She pulled a blanket over herself for warmth and closed her eyes. 

She woke standing in the middle of a road paved with gold cobblestones.  Along the street stretched clean sidewalks; lawns cut, pruned, and blossoming with flowers; houses scrubbed and polished as if the greatest holiday parade marched down this street today.  She knew in her heart that hungry children did not roam these streets.  Sad and suffering relatives did not visit, hoping for help.  People living here never locked doors against intruders.   

In the distance a light shone brightly like the noon day sun.  It sat low over the house tops, not up the sky like the sun she had watched all her life.  Suddenly a beep sounded behind her.  She turned around to see a car sitting in the middle of the road.  People inside the car motioned for her to move over so they could pass.  As she walked to the sidewalk, they smiled and waved while driving on down the road.           

She walked on the sidewalk towards the great light.  She passed couples and groups of friends, chatting as they ambled down the road in either direction.  Some smiled and nodded to her, others were so engrossed in their conversation they barely noticed her.  She saw children running, playing, pulling fruit from a tree and tossing it to each other. 

She walked under a low hanging branch and picked a piece of fruit for herself.  She held it in her hand and studied its round shape, stem, and smooth skin.  She bit into the dark purple peel which gave way to a juicy flesh, filling her mouth with the sweetness of peaches.  She bit again and again, consuming the fruit and remembering the best desserts from her grandmother’s table.  When she had eaten everything but the core, she held it up and dropped in her mouth, chomping down on seeds and stem until nothing remained but juice on her lips and hands.  She continued walking, licking the juice from her hands, not caring who might be watching.   

She came to an open plaza with gold cobblestones forming concentric circles.  At one end of the plaza, large marble steps, thirty feet wide and twenty steps high, climbed up to a flat platform.  On it the magnificent white light shone with the brightness of a thousand earthly suns.  She approached the steps slowly, staring at the light without needing to shield her eyes.  Other people stood in the plaza, some kneeled at the steps, and others lay prostrate on the ground.     

She looked up and saw in the midst of the light a man sitting on a white throne.  The light emanated from his heart, concealing his appearance.  She felt the power of a pulse coming from him as if his heart consisted of a thousand drums beating in unison. With each beat, power flowed through him and out into all that exist.  She realized that every living thing, every emotion of passion and love, every idea of beauty and peace, every neuron spinning on its axis, every tree, mountain, and rock originated here, from him.

She stood consumed by the glory and beauty of the light with the pulse beating in her ears.  She felt every gentle touch she had ever known, every kiss that had graced her check, every reassuring squeeze of her shoulder, and every loving hug.  As she sighed from memories of comfort and love, her knees began to weaken.   She closed her eyes and leaned her head backwards. 

She opened her eyes and found herself back in her bedroom, alone, covered by a blanket.  She looked around her room and saw the door she closed earlier.  She knew the world waited for her to return to her labors.  Normally the story would end here and the words The End would appear on a blank page.  But this story does not end, it continues forever.  This story is her future, the beginning of her eternity.  This story begins when all her labors are finished and she is laid to rest.  

This beginning is available to anyone who chooses it.   For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.  His name is Jesus.
Romans 10:13

Moses and motorcycles

 ¹ Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you’?”

^…

¹⁰ Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

^…

 ¹³ But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”

Exodus

I have a motorcycle which I have not ridden lately.  I have become afraid.  Afraid of falling, afraid of crashing, afraid of looking stupid.  God keeps nudging me to get on the bike and ride.  He thinks it would be good for me.  I can think of other things that would be better for me.  God believes I can do the former without neglecting the later. 

Moses was called to an amazing journey and he was afraid.  God confronted his fear with miracles appropriate to the task Moses was expected to do.  His staff changed into a snake.  His hand was covered with leprosy then healed. God did not allow Moses’ fear to deter him.  God pressed on to plans Moses could not imagined.

Surely if God ask us to do a small thing we should avoid analyzing it and determining within ourselves if it is important.  Stop trying to hide out fear in excuses and business.  Even though I know what I should do, I still need God’s help to get it done, so I pray about small things.

Dear Lord, it is a small thing to ride a motorcycle.  You are God of small things, large plans, and great miracles. Help me to let go of my fear and anxiety.  Teach me to trust You in all I do.  Allow me to walk and ride with confidence down the path You have prepared.  Give me the certainty that Your miracles will be comparable to the task given to me.

The year of God's favor

 ¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,

Isaiah 61:1-2

Dear Lord open doors that I may speak the good news to those in need.  Teach me to mend any brokenness in my relationships and to seek healing for all the people I meet.  Set me free of the things which separate me from You.  Help me shine Your light into the darkness around me, and into lives of those near and far.  Let this be the year of Your favor in all that I do.